Where did the month go?
My god! What the f&*k happened to the month?
That’s what happens when you are so in your head that you miss the life presented to you. I do it all the time and it’s such full time job to be present. Eckhart Tolle says, “Be like a cat at a mouse hole". Or another one, “be the watcher of you, the camera on your mind”.
The latest painting, that came to me as an image without a story has really come to life for me. I love it when that happens, when an image develops a meaning makes me have a new gusto while painting it.
Its been a tough month. My head has been taking to ‘catastrophising’. Panic and anxiety, hear clinching and waves of nausea, many sleepless nights like a roller coaster, the highs and lows. It is no wonder I drank and I am grateful for not and for having the tools to cope with this battle within. They say, when a regular person gets a flat tire, they call triple A. When an alcoholic gets a flat tire, they call suicide prevention.
So this painting is a tribute to that. Looking in the dark places and playing with the mire that is there.
These times don’t last as long as they used to. Well, at one time I would have drank it away until I sobered up, it’s no wonder I ended my drinking career with 24 hours a day drunkenness.
So I catch and release now. Well, not until I spent an day and night playing with it, but then yes then, then i catch and release :)
Peace and love.